Venturing into college is an exciting milestone for any student, whether on-campus or online. For many, it is a significant adjustment, but by branching out and forging new friendships, whether virtually or in person, you can cultivate a sense of belonging and community that enhances your overall college experience.
Of course, knowing how to make friends in college while juggling the demands of a course load may be easier said than done. Below, we offer practical tips that could help you start off on the right foot, regardless of whether you are a homebody or a social butterfly.
The Value of Campus Connections
Making friends in college could set you up for success in a number of ways, fostering both a sense of emotional well-being and academic success.
Why Friendships Matter for Emotional Well-Being and Academic Success
Even if you have close friends back at home, having people you can turn to while in school can help you get through the inherent challenges of college (like stress or isolation). At the same time, studies have even suggested that friendships in college have a positive impact on academic performance.
Recognizing Everyone Faces the Same Challenges — Even Extroverts
If you are unsure how to make friends in college, rest assured that you are not alone. Moving to a new place and attending college for the first time is a major adjustment, and even the most outgoing people may have a hard time knowing where to start when it comes to meeting new people and building meaningful friendships.
Get Out There Early
When making friends in college, it is important to put in the effort sooner rather than later. During the first couple of weeks of the semester, you are likely to run into plenty of other students who are seeking the same thing you are: friendship.
Attend Orientation, Welcome Week, and Campus Events
In addition to orientation sessions before the academic year begins, many colleges and universities host special events during the first few weeks of the semester, typically geared toward helping students meet peers who share similar interests. Familiarize yourself with your school’s schedule and consider which events may be worth your time.
Join Clubs and Organizations to Find Like-Minded Peers
Take time to research your school’s clubs and organizations to see which one(s) you might want to join. No matter if you are interested in student government, recreational sports, or volunteer work, there is a solid chance you can find a club. If not, you might even consider starting your own!
Make Use of Resident Life — RAs, Common Rooms, and Floor Events
If you are staying in a residence hall on campus, be on the lookout for special events during the first few weeks of school. Social mixers and other floor events are a great, direct way to meet people in your building. Many buildings also have common rooms or recreation rooms where students frequently gather to socialize, watch TV, or play games.
Take Initiative – Start Conversations
Even if you tend to be more on the introverted side, try to muster up the initiative to start conversations and break the ice with other students.
Arrive Early to Class and Say “Hi” to Neighboring Students
Showing up even a few minutes early to your classes could be another way to meet new peers in a casual setting. Simply greeting a fellow student and striking up a conversation about a class reading or assignment could very well prompt an amazing new friendship — but you never know unless you try.
Use Simple Icebreakers
If you struggle with small talk, keep some simple icebreakers in the back of your mind. Consider asking, for example:
- “What is your major?”
- “Where are you from?”
- “Where do you like to eat on campus?”
- “Are you in any clubs or sports?”
Stay Present and Approachable
You do not necessarily have to do all the initiating when making friends in college. By remaining present and approachable, you might find that fellow students are eager to strike up conversations with you as well.
Put Your Phone Away, Smile, and Make Eye Contact
As tempting as it may be to scroll on your phone while you have some time to kill before class, staying receptive to what is happening around you and making eye contact with others might be a better way to create socialization opportunities.
Frequent Communal Spaces
College campuses are full of communal spaces where you have the chance to meet people. From student centers and libraries to lounges and rec rooms, hanging out in these communal spaces is a go-to way to open yourself up to conversations that could spark new friendships.
Keep a Positive Mindset
Even if you do not meet your new best friend during the first weeks of school, stay optimistic and positive. Meaningful connections take time to build — and if you keep putting yourself out there and staying approachable, you may find your place on campus in no time.
Be Consistent and Follow Up
As you begin to settle into your college routine, stay consistent with your efforts to meet new people and develop meaningful friendships.
Invite Someone for Coffee or Group Study After Initial Meetings
Perhaps there is a fellow student you have spoken with a few times in class with whom you get along well. Consider inviting them to grab coffee with you before or after class as a way of breaking the ice. If there are several students you speak with in class, you might even think about forming a study group.
Accept Invitations and Say “Yes” to Social Opportunities
Juggling the responsibilities of college may present challenges, but there is more to college life than studying and going to classes. Whenever feasible in your schedule, say “yes” to social opportunities — even if you might not feel like it in the moment. Stepping out of your comfort zone often proves a fun way to meet new people.
Be Yourself and Build Trust
When it comes to making friends in college, being your authentic self is key. By staying true to yourself, you are more likely to attract the type of people who share similar goals and values in life.
Avoid Faking Extroversion
If you are not an extroverted person by nature, there is no need to pretend that you are. Doing so is only likely to lead to burnout and overstimulation, neither of which is ideal for building friendships. Introverts bring just as much to the table, worthy of meaningful friendships and supportive social circles, the same as extroverts; it is all about finding what works for you.
Allow Friendships to Evolve Naturally
The best friendships tend to be those you do not have to force. If you meet someone a few times and you are simply not “clicking,” it is OK to keep that person as an acquaintance and focus your efforts on other relationships.
Cultivate Your Connections
Speaking of acquaintances, below are some ways to turn those everyday connections into real friendships with the potential to last for many years to come.
Transition Acquaintances Into Friends via One-on-One Invites
Maybe you have attended the same study group with someone for a few weeks, with whom you really hit it off. This could be an optimal opportunity to schedule a one-on-one hangout with that person, whether to grab a bite to eat or attend a special event on campus. With this one-on-one time, you may start to build a deeper friendship.
Host Casual Gatherings
Even if you do not have the space for large gatherings in your living space, you could still host casual get-togethers in your residence hall’s rec space or at a park on campus. Simply grabbing coffee with a few friends in between classes may boost your mood and keep those relationships strong.
Expand Your Network Through Existing Friends’ Circles
As you begin to build friendships in college, you might be able to expand your circle by getting to know friends of friends. Take advantage of opportunities to attend friends’ social gatherings, because you never know who you might meet and mesh with.
Maintain Relationships Beyond Year One
The friendships you make in your first year of college may have the potential to last a lifetime, but this requires intentional effort, too.
Keep in Touch Through Intentional Catch-Ups
Even if you do not have any shared classes together next semester (or next year), scheduling time to hang out and catch up between the chaos of your course load helps keep those friendships strong.
Embrace Evolving Groups as Interests Change Each Semester
The peers you spend the majority of time with during your first semester at school may not be the same people you spend the most time with next semester. Interests (and friend groups) change; in fact, this is a common part of the college experience. The friendships that are the most meaningful and enduring are those that weather these changes.
Recognize That Friendships Ebb and Flow
Like most relationships, college friendships may ebb and flow. You and a friend might go from seeing each other almost daily to not seeing each other for weeks at a time. This does not necessarily mean the friendship is not worth your effort, but rather that you might simply be in different seasons of life with differing schedules and priorities.
Build Your Action Plan
If you are getting ready to start school and want to have a proactive plan in place for making new friends, keep in mind the following:
First-Week Checklist: Events, Clubs, Dorm Life, and Socializing
Before the first week of school, make yourself a quick list of events you want to attend on campus (or nearby), as well as any other steps you may take to put yourself out there. Consider saving these events on your calendar so you know exactly where to be and when.
Conversation Starter Cheat Sheet
Keep some versatile conversation starters in mind as you head into your first week of school, too. In addition to the icebreakers covered earlier, here are some other questions to try out:
- “What do you have to look forward to this week?”
- “What do you think will be your hardest class this semester?”
- “Do you know what you want to do with your degree after you graduate?”
- “Are you working on any hobbies or passion projects outside of schoolwork?”
- “Have you seen [X] movie or listened to the new [Y] album?”
Of course, never underestimate the power of sincerely asking, “How are you doing?”
Endurance Tip: Patience, Consistency, and Being Yourself
At the end of the day, remember that the best friendships are often forged when you least expect them. In other words, if you do not meet a new best friend the first week of school, try not to sweat it. By being your genuine self and having a little patience, it is possible to find your friend circle in good time.
Create Lasting Friendships at Post University
Adjusting to college life is not something that happens overnight, but having a solid sense of community could make all the difference. With a bit of time and effort on your part, you have the power to gradually find long-term friendships and the support you need to thrive as you embark on your educational journey.
Still seeking a school that fosters connection and growth in a close-knit environment? Post University offers a range of opportunities for all students (including online students) to get involved and connect with peers and mentors. Start your application for admission today or get in touch to learn more about our offerings.
Thank you for reading! The purpose of this blog is to provide general information to the reader, and as such, this information may not directly relate to programs offered by Post University.
Please note jobs and/or career outcomes highlighted in this blog do not reflect jobs or career outcomes expected from enrolling in or graduating from any Post program.